04.28.07
A Night at Eli’s
So I suck for never posting anything, probably because I don’t think I ever have anything interesting to talk about. Today I finally have something interesting to share.
Yesterday was the first game of the season for my Co-ed softball team, sponsored by Eli’s Bar & Grill (thanks guys!). The day started off with total embarrassment by the way of a 15-0 blowout, we couldn’t hit a ball to save our lives (we had a total of four base runners in four innings) and our first pitcher walked more batters than he didn’t. In Co-ed softball, if you walk a guy, he advances to second base, needless to say that padded the other team’s score a bit.
After that thrashing we all headed over to Eli’s for a jolly night of sloshing. Lots of beer, 151 and a cruel mixture of Wild Turkey, Rumplemintz and Jaegermeister (called a kickin’ turkey) were consumed. Needless to say, I was hammered drunk! To make things worse, my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss’s peer (same position, different department) was hitting on me and getting me to dance badly and I felt like a fool. On top of this, there was a pretty hot chick that I was diggin who was absolutely smashed, so that went no where.
Fast forward to closing time, I grab my shit, drop a $10 tip and start heading for the door. Well, a third chick I hadn’t even mentioned yet asks, “can you give me a ride home tomorrow morning?” OH SHIT! If that isn’t an invitation to get some action, I don’t know what is. She’s okay looking, but I was wearing beer goggles, so I don’t give a hump. We hop in the car, and she immediately says, “we should go over to Council Bluffs and get some beer and then make out.” Btw, bars in Omaha close at 1am and in Council Bluffs, they close at 2am. Fast forward to 1:45am, we’re in CB and I got a case of beer in the back seat and we’re in some random bar getting another drink. 2am comes around and we get thrown out, so we head to my place.
DAMMIT, my roommate is home. We decided to kick it in the basement where I have some sweet couches (leather for the win!) and have a bit more privacy. Keep in mind, we still have not “made out” and I’m trying to advance the situation. Not 10 minutes later did she FUCKING PASS OUT ON THE COUCH! Fuck. Shit. Fine, I go to sleep on the other couch.
A few hours later (I know this because the sun just came up) I get woken up to the sounds of snoring. I have a horrible hangover at this point and now I’m forced to deal with snoring. This isn’t quite as bad as a man’s version of snoring, but the idea that I am 4 feet away from a chick snoring in my basement…. 60 minutes later, my roommate wakes up and so does his daughter. He decides that it is a good idea to turn on some christian rock music… and turn it up real loud. WTF loud christian rock music?! 45 minutes of this torture (she’s just now waking up) and they finally leave to his parents place. She wants breakfast, so I oblige. We hit up Village Inn and I fulfill my original promise of taking her back to her car in the morning. $30 and 10 hours later, I have nothing to show for myself except a hangover and 11 Bud Lights in the fridge.. make that 10.
-FIN-